some organizations we have met with (in no particular order)

www.alwatan.org
* www.badil.org
www.annadwa.org (International Centre of Bethleham)
* www.btselem.org
www.icahd.org (Israeli Committee Against House Demolitions)
www.rhr.israel.net (Rabbis for Human Rights)
* http://www.shovrimshtika.org/index_e.asp (Breaking the Silence)
www.holylandtrust.org
* www.theparentscircle.org
http://www.planet.edu/~alaslah/ (Wi'am)

Even if I'd blogged every day, there would have been too much to share with you. Here are some of the organizations we met with. Those with the stars struck me especially.

guns, boys, stones: November 25 and 26

In classical style, here is an exert from my journal:

"...The delegation really started today. We arrived in Hebron in the middle of the market and were lead to the CPT apartments (there's a women's, a men's and a guests')...And this part of Hebron is falling apart. Crumbling store and cement, hipping paint and rust, and this cobweb-like netting at thecorners of numerous buildings, which I later learned was look out points for soldiers.
We had a warm welcome by the Hebron team (sweet sage tea), falafals for lunch (of course), and were given mugs with our names on them (so pretty!) We had a "tour" from ourroot, and I got excited at all the potential laundry shots.
We then set out to visit a family, much of whose land has been confiscated for a settlement, so now the barbedwire boundry is a heart-sickening "stone's throw" from the house. In the last decade their house has been stoned, burned and shot at by settlers as well as invaded regularly by soldiers...
We passed through a checkpoint on the way to their house and we walked along and Israeli only road and passed Settlers going toand from the synagogue. The scariest for me were eight ouths in their shabat-best with automatic rifles set on fire casually slung over their shoulders...When on earth could it be legal for a civilian to use such a weapon?! And they were so young...They made me very very angry. Furious, utterly impotent. And of course scared...
The way home was worse. We passed again the soldier at the settlement gate, then therew as a jeep in the middle of the road...we kept going and passed soldier after soldier after soldier, all with guns at the ready."
It turned out a group of Jewish children were playing at the synagogue/tomb of Abraham, so that's what the military presence was about. (Debriefing later John described it as "overkill." According to people who would know, it looks like a war-zone.) It's hard now to ressurect how angry and scared it all made me. What can it do to people to live in this environment? I can't imagine raising a child here. Or rather, I can, and the idea frightens me.
I was of course mainly upset because I'd never been in contact with so many weapons at one time before, never had a firearm pointed my direction. But you know, I think that naievity is a blessing everyone should be able to experience.
I was only in Hebron three days, but by the end I was aware emotionally (and not just psychologically) that I was in no danger from the soldiers' guns, just as the checkpoints are little to no inconvenience to us, and that's all just part of the systemic injustice going on in this land.

Here's another wee exert:
"So why am I here again? There is deep injustice here, and deep injury being done to the Palestinian people, and I think it is caused at least in part by another deep injury that done to the Jewish people (and which the Israeli state has chosen to capitalize on with all its talk of "security," rather than attempt to heal.) And I fear that a lot of healing will be required for peace but I have no idea how such healing couldt ake place. And I think Israel is now creating its own worse nightmare through the fear and powerlessness and indiginity being suffered by the Palestinian peple. And this makes me very very sad for everyone."

You know, before I came here I talked to a number of people who had recently been here and each and everyone of them prefaced their statements with "it's complicated." And it most definitely is. Sorry if all these thoughts are all over the place.

day before yesterday

We got up early to join an accompaniment organized by Rabbis for Human Rights to stand with farmers trying to plow their fields. Farmers who live in the shadows of settlements are often unable to work their land.
An army jeep drove up not long after we started, and at first we were anxious, but he was a responsible young man, and he was there to make sure there was no violence. We were very happy to have him there when the settlers showed up. First on a donkey, then some on a tractor, and finally some in a car. The first were young men, but the last group included a woman and child (apparently the woman is a powerful voice in the community, isn't that interesting? She was quite young.)
All remainded calm, and for the first time in my life, I was happy to have someone with an automatic rifle around. (This was a significant event for me, you can imagine the bold and stars and exclamation points that I'm not writing). After reflecting more though, I hope that the settlers respected his authority because he represented the state, not because he carried a big gun around. In any case, the question remains open, would he have stuck around if there hadn't been Israelis and Internationals chilling out there? Who knows. But sometimes the state is using its army for good things.
At the end of the action one of the farmers came and shared bread with us. Eating bread on a hill top in the Holy Land made the land actually feel holy.
Then we went to Tuwani for the first time, and had lunch, and learned about the women's co-op that started there (very exciting), and then we had a blessedly relaxed evening, chatting with our host and hearing about his recent arrest (the police broke his rib, need I mention the demonstration he was leading was non-violent?).
There is very little water in Tuwani. No water to wash my hands. No water to flush the toilet. No water to brush my teeth or wash my face. Or at least, not enough to do those things as much as I would like or am used to. This was also striking. Water.
I'm out of time now, but I hope you are all well,

yesterday

I woke up in At-Tuwani, the town I've read about for years in CPT updates, how surreal to actually be there.
We went on school patrol, which again, was blessedly uneventful. Maureen made the point that when things are quiet we know we are doing our job well. To give a brief background, children coming from the village of Tuba to go to school in another town have to pass by a Jewish Settlement, and the children were regularly being harrassed by stones, eggs, and verbal abuse amongst other things when CPT started doing accompaniement work with them. The CPTers were also harrassed, and as I understand it, the Israeli government (perhaps embarrassed at the need for an international presence), eventually assigned soldiers to accompany the children. Given regular slip ups on the part of the soldiers though, the CPTers still keep an eye on things to keep them accountable.
We left for Hebron then and met with a woman running a kindergarten program in the old city, we visited a charitable medical clinic, and then a group that is seeking to restore the old city in an attempt to draw Palestinians who have fled back.
The most interesting part of the Kindergarten visit was what she shared about trauma, and anger problems, and domestic violence. One of the consequences of an Occupation where men have trouble getting work and are regularly humiliated in front of their wives and children, is problems of anger and violence in the home. It's yet another thought to chew on, anyway. I feel like I'm just telling you about the trunk of the elephant, not really giving you a proper picture, but it's so hard to know where to start.
Anyway, then we had lunch.
In the afternoon we visited a journalist under house-arrest. Coming home we ran into one of those grey situations that would take longer to explain than I have time for at the moment. In any case, we got home in time for supper, and I met with two full-time CPTers in the evening and discussed regional CPT group stuff (which is part of my job back home.) These full-timers are both retired, John is 78 and uses a cane, and I loved following him around. He either has no fear, or chooses not to, but he has the most innocent smile. It's just fantastic to see him talking to this young men in full combat gear.

today

We were back in Hebron, so I went on school patrol this morning, our little cluster was led by Jerry Levine, yet another inspiring full-time CPTer. You should google him and see what you can find out about him.
It was quiet except the soldiers who told us we are never allowed to use gate 4&5 again to leave the old city. Jerry chatted with them and verified that they know we aren't dangerous, they're just following their orders.
We had worship on the roof, with some yoga led my yours truly, good memories of India abounded. Then we headed back to Jerusalem.
We went to the Holocaust memorial museum this afternoon. The first few rooms describe anti-sematism and the lead up to the Holocaust in Nazi Germany. It was quite upsetting in the light of what we've recently witnessed. I don't understand how the policy makers in this country do not see the parallels with what they are now doing.
The later rooms, documenting the horrors of Hitler's final solution, were upsetting in and of themselves, and once again I wonder how on earth an entire people can find the healing they need. I also wonder what psychological and emotional scars Older Germans carry that I am unaware of.
We took the bus home, and now I'm here, writing to you, feeling as ever too full of thoughts and overwhelmed, and short on time.

come undone

"Once you start to know things, it all comes undone." -Angela (from the Israel Committee Against Housing Demolition)

I'm lucky. Even though I've lead a sheltered life, I think I've been given more opportunities than many people to face up to the world's injustice. I meet people who are going through radical life transitions, where they learn things that force them to rethink entirely how they live their lives. I think I'm lucky because I know many of the ways I benefit from injustice, and by extension I know what I should be doing to at least change my small bit. That said, I'm also cursed, because it is so hard to change even my small bit, because life is dang sweet the way it is, but there's no possible way to stick my head in the sand.

Where's all this coming from? Well, even just twenty-four hours into my first CPT delegation, there's things that I've known that have become infinitely more real. But it still isn't new, and so my world has yet to come undone in the sudden, potentially life changing way, that the quote above suggests. At the same time I think I can smell the possibility of a life that's come undone, and so I'm waiting on the edge of my seat. We'll see what the rest of this delegation brings.

On another subject, Dave, I've been wondering what you would think of all this, of Israel and the West Bank, I mean, in the flesh. And it feels bizarre to me that I should be the one here.

The land itself is not like anywhere I've ever been, though under pressure I might say it's a little like the Canadian Shield and the Nevada desert, while not really being anything like either of them. When we drove to Jerusalem from the airport I had to hum, "I lift my eyes up, unto the mountains, where does my help come from? my help comes from you, maker of heaven, creator of the earth."

At Martin's pretzel factory last month I snorted at the stickers everywhere, "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem." Now as I walk down the streets I do fervantly hope that "there will be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year," and not just for some. And if not next year, then Insha'allah, some day soon.

And Andy, I've got the hat.

interesting, even if you aren't American

http://chir.ag/phernalia/preztags/

"it's a cloud of the most popular, non-generic words used in the last US presidential speeches.
the larger ones are used more often"

wednesday

Weekly I now go to another part of town, and I'm chilling out with a cool community who is all about going in and living alongside people to see what they need, not just dumping a bunch of programming on their heads. And they're hard-core, this isn't a three years term, this is as permanent as this life gets (the people I've spent the most time with are 6 and 8 year residents respectively.)

I start my day at a toy library. That's right, me and many small children (and their mothers, thank goodness!) This is particularly ironic as some of you may know that one of the last straws in my decision to not go to St. Louis is that they were threatening to have me work with children. Strangely, now that I'm doing it, I'm finding it an exciting challenge and I even kind of enjoy it.

After that my day is pretty fluid. So far I mainly just meet people who have been there longer and hear about what they're doing. But today I also got to sit in on a language class for the second most common language of that borough (after English). If my job flows in that direction, I may start learning it for real. Which would be another unexpected challenge. I love life's surprising twists.

In regards to flying out Monday, I'm having trouble sleeping and my heart rate is up. So even though I'm not incessantly conciously anxious, my body knows something's up. Pretty dang exciting.

thoughts before leaving

In my sermon after attending the SOA vigil last November, and in the light of the then recent kidnappings I asked: “What difference can one person’s actions or one person’s sacrifices make in the face of giant horrors like the war in Iraq or unrest in Colombia or other parts of south and central America?" At the time I concluded "that protesting is still better than silently accepting injustice, even if results are slow in coming.… If I really believe that as a Christian I should follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ even to the point of laying down my life for my brothers and sisters, and if I really believe non-violent action can make a difference, then I shouldn’t hesitate for a moment” to take a risk.

I came down from that mountain-top experience, and wrote this email in December, "When I really think about it though, I know the men who were just kidnapped in Iraq weren't single-minded. They probably had and are having a bizillion second thoughts and regrets. And they aren't saintly martyrs, they are just ordinary, peace-dedicated men."

In March I was here: "I got home from my mom's last night and found out that they found Tom Fox's body on the outskirts of Bagdad, Friday I think. Tom Fox was the American of the four CPTers who were kidnapped at the end of November. Tom Fox was one year older than my own father. When he was first kidnapped his daughter, who is probably close to my age, put out a statement of conviction and solidarity for what he had been trying to do when kidnapped.

I would have to write a novela to describe all the nuances of thoughts and feelings this raised properly, so the Coles Notes version is that that news was a bomb dropping on my unrecognized naive hope [that all the men would get out unscathed]. And it left me feeling angry, powerless, incredibly sad, lonely and frightened…I eventually grabbed two hours of sleep.

Today was a long day. My horror from last night has receeded, because life is so distracting. I can't stop living even though these tragedies are happening. So I guess it's maybe just going to be a matter of forgiving myself that I can keep living and forgetting over and over again the terrible things that are happening elsewhere in the world."

I want to share now that what I keep thinking about is the freedom I take for granted. To travel across oceans, or just to the doctor's, or to downtown for a night out. And I think about the thousands of people in different parts of the world who don't have that freedom, for whatever reason. And that's grossly unfair. And it's grossly unfair that I can choose to put myself in a sketchy situation, but know that it will only be for a couple weeks, while these other people have no choice and are there for good.

I'm trying to get at a few things here. Trying to understand my own motivation, and maybe I'm defending myself a bit too. This trip isn't just a thrilling "one-night stand." It's something I've been thinking about much longer than last November, and it's only one small piece of everything I want to be doing to *cough* "change the world."

But dudes, it's so slow, and so hard to see what one can do. And hard too, to strike that balance between cherishing all the good I've been blessed with, while recognizing that "it's not fair!"

good memories from Akron

The Oblongs

I watched the first episode last night thanks to my Canadian flatmates. Sheer brilliance! It makes me shudder in just the right way. It's all about pollution, haves and havenots, and LOVE! Apparently it only lasted for fourteen episodes in Canada. Why would quality television be taken off the air when the crap just goes on and on?

nina simone

"Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin on by you know how I feel

(refrain:)
Its a new dawn
Its a new day
Its a new life
For me
And Im feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
Blossom in the tree you know how I feel

(refrain)

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, dont you know
Butterflies all havin fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
Thats what I mean

And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel"

It's good to be home.